it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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