does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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