I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Oh god it's open bar.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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