Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
