we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
