First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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