he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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