Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize