Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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