i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
