Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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