Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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