I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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