thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
