Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
