we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize