We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
