how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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