she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
