maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
