"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
