weddingsv make me drug and hornr
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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