he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
