Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
