Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
