i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
areolas are like halos for boobs.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
