So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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