I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
