You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
