listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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