Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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