Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
