Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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