I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
