Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
