I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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