I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
