There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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