Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
