I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
