Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
