Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
