yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
