my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Randomize
