I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
