i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour