I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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