conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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