I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
