So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
