If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
