I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I wish there were birth control emojis
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize