An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I can't trust your balls anymore.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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