Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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