I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
