You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
