If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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