Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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