Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
