So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
