Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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