You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
