is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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