Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
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You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
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One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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